It was 6:35 am and I was hitting my snooze button for the 5th time, I then sat up positioning my feet on my cold floor as I mentally prepared myself for the trip to the bathroom. Not only was I super tired because I never sleep well anymore but I also knew as soon as I started to walk my feet were going to cause me severe pain. So I got up and walked to my bathroom like an old man who needs a cane. (I was only 33 at the time) As I walked into my bathroom for my morning routine I ALWAYS just passed by my mirror because I didn’t want to face what I have become.

I cannot explain why but this morning it was different because this time I turned to the mirror and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in ages. There I was, staring at a naked body I didn’t recognize anymore. This was truly horrifying to me as I stared at all the changes in my body.

I sat there longer just starting at myself with a thousand questions firing off in my mind.

I proceeded to look to my right and it was hard to recognize my scale under the mountain of dust from never being used (Kidding but it had been that long.) So I stepped on it and waited for the results which felt like a lifetime as I waited in dread. Now in my mind my healthy weight is around 190lbs but when the results hit I was blown away by what I was witnessing.

260 Pounds...

This was a wake up call for me so I threw some clothes on and sat down on my couch in my living room. For the first time in ages I was in complete silence as I sorted through my thoughts and all the feelings I felt about myself that I had only suppressed until now.

WARNING I AM ABOUT TO GET TRANSPARENT AND VULNERABLE

I hated myself!!! How I felt about myself started to fire off one by one!

● I was insecure (NO CONFIDENCE)
● I felt uncomfortable in my very own skin
● I hated taking pictures because I knew how gross I looked
● I never slept good EVER
● I never have any energy throughout my day (I am constantly drinking coffee or energy drinks)
● I am constantly getting sick
● I have no desire to have sex anymore
● I buy clothes that are to big for me so I can hide my fat
● I hate socializing and being around people (I always feel like I am being judged)
● I am in constant pain (Body, Feet, Legs, Arms, Headaches, ect)
● I need medication to feel better and pain meds to ease the pain
● I am constantly negative with lack of positivity
● I AM NEVER HAPPY (I only fake happiness to others)
● I had also been considering antidepressants

As I sat there with my hands in my face crying allowing myself to feel the internal pain I have been trying to avoid it all came rushing in like a waterfall of emotions. I had to try and stop this so I said to myself...

It will get better Tyler

I instantly got mad at myself because HOW? If I keep going down this road by the time I am 40-50 I’ll be a statistic of high blood pressure, type-2 diabetes, heart disease and maybe even cancer or other horrific diseases.

This is when my future played out in front of my eyes...

● What about when I have kids, is this the example you want to set?
● How will I ever love somebody someday if I can’t even love myself?

It hit me like a ton of bricks! It can only get worse from here...Unless I make a change! It was like a switch flipped for me and I got this strong motivation to save my life! I then called into work and said I was sick so I could map out a plan to save my future forever.

BUT HOW?

I wasn’t an expert in weight loss or health so how was I going to do this? All I had for memory was all of the failed diets I had done in the past, but then I thought maybe I was the problem and not the diets? So I grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and started writing out all the diets I